Habits I learnt In 2019

In 2018 after I decided to leave all bad things behind and go take on this journey to find myself, I've learned quite a lot. I finally broke out of the victim mentality and now I feel healed. After all these years of excuses, self-abandonment, and toxic patterns, I actually feel like I'm on the right path and I could never have broken out of that jail cell if it wasn't for these new mindsets that I learned: 

1. Letting go:  Once I let go of the constant need for being in control of everything around me and realized that the only thing I can control in my life is my own thoughts and emotions my life changed, my heart and my mind changed. The universe just rushed in with opportunities, growth, and prosperity. I know this sounds like some spiritual mumbo jumbo but it is what helped me. Coming to terms with the fact that I only need to put in the work toward my goals instead of trying to control people, relationships and life around me to get to those goals was extremely liberating and changed how I saw the world. I thought moving from one place to another is what I needed to do to find my purpose, only to find it in my inner self and not my surroundings. I had to do less not more.

2. Taking Responsibility For My Own Actions: every time I've done something wrong or acted in the wrong way, I've always found a way to blame my surroundings, blame my traumas and my mental illnesses, you know the victim mentality but once I stopped to self reflect and took responsibility of what I was doing and why I was doing it, it also changed my life. I realized that if I do something wrong it's my responsibility to make it right instead of trying to constantly blame the things around me that I can't control, wouldn't it be better if I just controlled how I deal with things? and once I took responsibility for all the good and bad I found mental clarity.

3.Abundance: I am someone who has always surrounded herself with people and crowds, never being okay with being alone. Do you ever feel alone in a crowd? like no one actually knows who you are and your friends just know you on a superficial level? I have felt that way as far as I can remember. Quality over quantity, surrounding myself with better influences and a few friends who actually know me on a deeper level and for who I really am was also very life-altering. The first time in my life when I felt abundance, it was honestly the most beautiful feeling ever I think I cried happy tears. I had no idea what abundance even was, for the first time I didn't feel the need to change myself to fit in or to be accepted. I could be my own self and actually be loved for that. 

4.Empathy:  I'm an extrovert but I am also a very empathetic person, I didn't know this, I was told I was just emotional like it was a weakness but it was actually my ability to put myself in other people's shoes and feel how they felt. My need for trying to help people was looked down on and I would be lying if I said I didn't try to turn myself cold and numb myself emotionally. That was all wrong, being able to understand another person and finding an emotional and logical balance within yourself to give them the right advice and support isn't a weakness it's a literal gift. Once I got in touch with my empathy I attracted more positive people, I stopped looking at people as selfish and learned from them. I learned unconditional love.

5. Getting In Touch With Myself:  when I say myself, I mean my higher self, I spent years looking for my purpose and when I couldn't find it I distracted myself with alcohol, partying and surrounded myself with the wrong people, just so I didn't have to think about it all the time but even then that's all I could think about. Once I spent time with myself and truly understood myself I realized the purpose has always been within me and it might even change, maybe we have multiple purposes or a new purpose every day? I aligned my actions with my goal and turned all my negative thoughts into positive and that helped me understand myself and what I needed to grow and be happy again.

6. Not Taking Things Personally:  understanding that people have their own unique ways to look at things and life and their actions have nothing to do with me was another hard lesson I needed to learn. I would get easily offended when someone would ignore me or not put in the same amount of effort that I did but I realized that didn't say anything about me as a person, it only said more about them. If someone wants to leave hold the door open for them, who are you to pressure someone into feeling guilty or obligated? We all have free will and you can only control what you do. Once I learned this I became a source of unconditional love and support. People actually felt more comfortable and happy around me, I LET GO OFF THE CONTROL and let my stress levels lower.

All these things completely changed my mindset, the mindset I'm taking with me in 2020. I still fall off the wagon every now and then and but this mindset helps me not waste my energy and time sulking and get back up faster. This was in no way an easy thing to do but it was necessary for me to heal myself and be a better person.