This one is for the ladies out there with their hearts broken. First things first you need to understand that everybody has their own free will and that is something you cannot take away from them. If a guy likes you he will let you know by his ACTIONS.
Now if he is a player that ghosts you reappears every time you seem to have moved on and sucks you back into that hole he isn't the only one at fault, we teach people how to treat us by accepting and rejecting certain behaviors but when you like someone and have your rose-colored glasses on, it's hard to see the red flags.
Now the F**k Boy, he pretends to be the good guy, he is smooth and definitely a gentleman. He will ask you the questions he needs to ask you to know what you are looking for and then play the role until he gets what he wants then he acts like the emotionally distant douche he really is and you are left there drinking wine straight out of that bottle thinking love is dead.
How to deal with it? lets say you already fell for his act( I once dated someone who would break up with me every weekend to go pick up chicks and come begging for me every sunday afternoon) he already hurt you and you have seen through his charade, he has of course very rapidly moved on to his next tinder chick or any girl for that matter and you're just hurting, confused and in pain this is what you do.
1. Accepting that they just aren't into you they got what they wanted they have moved on,you got played but that does not mean that you're a loser to have feelings that does not define who you are. They played a game on you and you weren't prepared for it well you have to pick up these pieces, you are the only one who can get yourself out from the situation and he just wasn't into you. If they actually liked you they would have put in the effort, always remember people only change for the people they want to change for so if he is a player, he simply didn't want to change for you, don't lie to yourself that "oh he will change one day" just move on and I will tell you exactly how to do it.
2. Letting go, once the garbage has taken itself out it's time to get rid of the mildew, now of course that means cutting all communication with them for me personally it's the hardest part. Deleting them off of all social media and your life can be very hard and a way to ease yourself into it is to unfollow them instead of deleting them entirely that way you don't have to see them doing what they do especially if he is posting pictures with other girls and that will only make you sad because you thought he was different but he wasn't so this way one day slowly, you might as well summon enough willpower to delete them and block them completely. Throw out any gifts or memories you have left with them, burning it is always fun as long as its done around a fire with all your best friends.
3. Taking your power back, soul searching and finding yourself comes from solitude. When you're in a relationship you don't have the time to put in yourself properly. Take time off of dating. How about instead of making another person your rebound you become your very own rebound and you know what this relationship might last you for a lifetime. Create a positive abundant atmosphere around you that could mean getting back in touch with old friends or volunteering to help the community. If you're a loner learn a new skill at home you have the whole world right here on your fingertips on your phone screen, on your computer screen so why not? there's always so much more room to grow, right? You are human to be happy with yourself you have to keep growing, like plants. Distance yourself from people who you think might be affecting and influencing you in a negative way for example if you only hang out around people who are always dating or with their Boos all the time you're more likely to feel lonely around them and send a text to the fuck boy admitting how much you want him hence giving him more power over you and confirming he can come to you whenever he wants and use you as he pleases so surround yourself with people who remind you how strong a person can be on their own or friends who aren't codependent on their other halves all the time. Use your pain to become a better version of yourself because your time is precious.
4. Coping, keeping busy to not think of him does not always work especially if your job is something that does not use a lot of focus like a desk job where you're on your own a lot it's really hard cause in the back of your head you're still thinking about him and thinking what happened and that doesn't always work in fact you start focusing on your flaws or coming up with ideas how you might've screwed this up when it was not even your fault. So what will you do? you will do things to stay busy that requires your full attention and make you happy for example to get over this one fuck boy I got really into yoga meditation and exercising and one little handy trick that I came across while doing my research was that I would do 10 leg raises every time I think of him, it was not a punishment it was more self-disciplinary. I mean you didn't get the relationship that you wanted out of this might as well get abs right?
5. Explore your options, this does not mean get into another relationship right away and use someone else to forget him, that's not fair to them, that's not fair to the right guy but simply means keep your eyes open for potential partners. Do some light dating but don't sleep with anyone right away, wait to observe and analyze the nature of your connection with this new person for all you know you could meet your soulmate your life partner who is emotionally mature and matches your level of emotional intellect.
6. When he comes back, don't talk to him and if you decide to speak to him, be very careful and do not let your emotions get the best of you. Remember what he did in the past remind yourself how you felt when he ghosted you out of nowhere or when he moved on to the next chick without even giving you a proper explanation of why he wasn't interested anymore remember how he didn't let you have that closure that you really deserved being the amazing confident beautiful person that you are.
Conclusion: dating isn't easy,romance is scary and well unrequited love is painful but it's not the end of your life, it's the end of a toxic cycle with a toxic person. Healing takes time and a lot of courage and you have all of it inside of you, just need to summon it and move on. The right person would never treat you this way. You deserve better.
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