This is a sensitive matter for me because I have had experience with this so many times that I can't even count or remember all of the times and recently it happened again, however, this time I did not see it coming, it was unexpected, unnecessary and from someone, I really felt a connection with. It also put all that I've learned last year, the mindsets that I talked about in one of my previous posts to test in the span of 15 minutes ( slow the hell down 2020). Once again instead of having a manic episode and sulking for a month I said to myself " all right let's see how we can deal with this situation" like I said I've had experience with this so many times, in the past, I've always followed a pattern of obsessing over the fact that I must've done something to make someone I care about not want me to be a part of their life the way I want them to be a part of my life and that kind of leaves you with abandonment issues. One day it's all sunny and happy and then all of a sudden they just disappear or withdraw and you're just standing there shaking and crying under the rain. It's hurtful, painful and brings up all the times you were abandoned in the past( being borderline doesn't help me either) it just makes you feel horrible.
The reason that it hurts so much when people leave us isn't just because they are leaving it's also because we start thinking what we could have done differently to make them want to stay but that's the thing! you can't make a person who wants to leave stay hold the freaking door open for them and if they're hurting you in this process make sure you shut the door behind them, lock it, throw the key in the freaking ocean, they are not coming back! because you know what it's not fair to you! it's time we stop the cycle of giving our happy energies to people who only give us bad energies in return or nothing for that matter! but then again why lower your energy to match someone else's garbage energy?
So here's what you do in this situation to move on and look at this in a more positive way:
1. Accept, that they didn't want to stay, accept that you didn't do anything wrong, accept that this doesn't say anything about you as a person and consider this a blessing because caring or loving someone who doesn't love you back is self-abandonment.
2. Respect their decision, at the end of the day it all just comes down to free will and choices that we make in life. They chose to leave, it's on them, this has nothing to do with you and you have to let people do what they want to do because trying to force or make someone stay is an emotionally manipulative thing to do. Respect that they just didn't want to be around you they must have their reasons and those reasons might not even have anything to do with you so let them go. I have been on both ends of this stick, there has been times when I cut people out and they would guilt trip me or try to emotionally blackmail me into staying and that never worked out and my reasons for wanting to be away from these people mostly didn't have anything to do with them either but when they tried manipulative techniques my reasons turned to be about them.
3. Say Goodbye, the most important thing in the process of moving on from a friend, a loved one or anyone who was special to you is to say goodbye, so you know that you did what you could do and that you had the chance to say goodbye and if this person is meant to be in your life, they will be, but for now it is goodbye.
4. Turn The Lamp Of Positivity On, analyze your situations and actions, what actually happened before you take action be more logical especially if you're a highly emotional person like me or in case you did do something wrong and might need to make amends but that's a different story. Everything happens for a reason is a term that I have believed in most consistently, my religious, social and political views change all the time but this one term has stuck with me the most, it's simple, every time I look back and think about all the bad things that happened, the things that I didn't want to happen in my life because they hurt at the moment, they made me who I am, they got me where I am today and every time someone left my life, someone better came along, someone so much better that all the pain and confusion I felt, made sense. You have to believe, you have to have faith in the fact that sometimes things fall apart only to make room for better things. This is basically just saving you from more pain, what if you beg them to stay right now and they decide to stay solely so they don't have to feel burdened by guilt? to clear their own consciousness? would that really make you happy? to be half loved and cared for by someone who you fully love and care for? NO! that's not how it works! you're too full of love to be half loved.
5. Move on, that's all you can really do when someone leaves you. When you miss them just send them love and light, hope that they are happy and doing well because if you love and care for someone it doesn't end simply because of them leaving.
Now you can cry about it, you can stress over it, you can keep wondering what you did wrong and you could keep obsessing over the fact that someone has abandoned you but you could also just let it go make space in your life for the people who want to come in and offer you the same energy as you bring to the table. Some times people come into our lives simply to teach us lessons or direct us in the right direction to our purpose, these are the people we connect with the most and which is why it's hard to let go of them but maybe their purpose in our life has been served? Life is too short to hold someone or yourself, hostage, so keep moving forward before time runs out and you are sitting there wondering why did I stand under this tree for so long when it didn't even bear any fruits.
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